A close friend of mine helped me get onto a DC based radio show with a friend of hers to talk about my new business endeavors. I was initially very excited but then I thought, “what business do I have on a radio show about my company when it hasn’t even fully taken ‘flight yet’?” The imposter syndrome has been ever present for as long as I can remember. Growing up black in all white spaces is one of the most challenging mental gymnastics any minority student can go through. Feeling the constant judgment along with overt racism from students and teachers was exhausting. While I knew I was capable of anything I put into action, the constant eyes of bias took a toll on my psyche. Fast forward to working in a very homogenous company culture, where I was the only black woman, and I was faced with the same insecurities I felt in my all white high school. I had gotten the Bachelors and the Masters but still my intellect, my perceived “attitude” was always questioned when I had questions or wanted to add a different opinion to the direction of a project. All of these things wear on black and brown bodies. We have to contend with the biases hurled upon us from whites that get to throw racist grenades at us and get mad at us for questioning them about blowing our arms off. Ok, rough analogy but you get the gist.

I’ve been working on this blog, working on my social media presence, taking videography technique courses and working on my business goals. Some days I’m completely clear about the direction I am going in and other days I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. The thoughts of my capabilities are always lingering in the forefront of my brain. I’m probably going to spend the rest of my life undoing the negative thinking of my childhood and young adulthood. I know that I will always be in the learning phase and mastery is a bit of an illusion. Yes, we will grow to dominate certain fields with intensive study and constant training but learning never truly ends; thus, mastery seems like a destination to a process that is ever evolving.

The radio show talks to Millennials who are venturing out with their own businesses while maintaining their 9-5 jobs. It made sense for me to add my story and my perspective because its valuable like everyone else’s. Reminding myself that I have value to add to the world is as much of an inside job as it is an external job. By external I mean that the external projects that I work on, from beginning to end, have value even if my projects never see the light of day. I cared enough to put my energy and love into them to bring them to fruition. That has value. I have insights on life and business that are unique. I’m working and I’m building and I’m blessed to know that all of this, the anxiety from my past, the anger from the racial biases, the wins the losses were all part of the plan that keeps propelling me forward. That cocktail of trauma, love, self-doubt, once realized, has made these new ventures so thrilling and I’m proud that I was able to tell my story on District Creative radio Show and I’m so thankful for the opportunity.

For more details visit The District Creatives website below.
https://dcradio.gov/programming/thedistrictcreatives/