It’s been years of me daydreaming of success and effectively feeling like success was elusive for me. Success wasn’t for me. I was meant to work for someone or some faceless entity that sent me checks for the pay stubs that I submitted. I was a worker. A 9 to 5-er. I helped move the mediocrity train forward in a society that loves when people stay in their place, nominally contribute to their society, pay taxes and have a few kids who will also get on the middle of the road path to know where just like their parents before them. I’m sick of that. I’m sick of the pay bills and die mindset. I don’t always feel like I have what it takes to get to where I want and honestly, I’m not entirely sure what direction I’m meant to go in which has cost me so much time. I take classes. I read self-help books. I pray. I meditate and still, here I am getting older and feeling nowhere near the beginning of the path that I feel I should be walking on by now.

“The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.”

Benjamin Mays

Social media and its focus on perfect vacation shots, the influx of entrepreneurs and many people living the dream have the tendency to highlight the deficits within your own life. I have never wanted to have someone else’s life. I just want my talents to be revealed so I can pursue them! I’ve been discouraged by many people throughout my life. I’ve been flat out told I wasn’t good enough. I have been told that I should “downsize” my dreams or shift my focus to something easier because I wasn’t capable of my goals. Many dreams have been discouraged by others and it’s unfortunate. I truly believe in between all of the rubbish forced on our children in school, a course on goal setting, identifying your passions and talents would add so much meaning to so many people’s lives. I’m wise enough to know that this is not how our society is designed. If everyone was confident in their abilities and taught to relentlessly pursue their gifts that would leave the vast majority of the workforce hurting for folks to fill the large unskilled labor positions. It’s up to parents to ensure their children are taught these self-discovery lessons so our kids can make the most of their lives while they are here.

“Ask and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you.”

Matthew 7:7

I write these words not to remind myself of my own shortcomings or to feel victimized by society but as a starting place that I hope will lead me down the path, I have been so desperately searching for. I like my 9 to 5 job but I know my individual story is bigger than any job. My internal work is continuously so I’ve started incorporating some of the below tips to help me stay focused, find my voice and confidence along with re-centering what happiness is to me.

Closer to Purpose Fulfilled – Tips and Tricks

“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.”

Stephen Covey

Practicing daily gratefulness

Throughout my mental gymnastics, I’ve always remained grateful and thankful. Just keeping that in my heart has allowed me to experience daily miracles. I usually speak how thankful I am when I get home and how grateful I am before bed and when I wake. This keeps me grounded and the self-induced pressure I place on myself into perspective.

Set-up daily affirmation notifications

Daily affirmations bring me out of my head and remind me to relax, take a deep breath and that I’m still here, continuing this journey with abundant opportunities. I use the motivation app which sends me quotes throughout the day which help me stay focused, cause me to pause and shift my thinking throughout the day.

Daily Self-Checks

The Day One and Daylio apps are simple to use and have been beneficial for me when I use them daily. The Day One app is a journaling app that is very simple to use and allows you to use pictures or the text box in order to express your current mental and emotional state. I like writing in a physical journal, rather than a phone app, but the journaling apps have become my new favorite mental health tools because of their accessibility and ease of use. My therapist has me tracking my moods so I can make the necessary changes to help my overall well-being and professional goal-setting. When my mood is off everything is off and writing has always been therapeutic for me!

The Daylio app sends you reminders for you to quickly check-in with yourself and select from the simple pictures that allow you to assess your current mood. There are goals and algorithms within the app that allow you to see a snapshot of where your mood has been throughout the week.

Get moving

I used to be an avid exerciser and with a busier work schedule and raising a toddler, my workouts have gotten shorter, but I still walk quite often. I love summer because I love being outside. During the summer months, I take every opportunity to be outside walking or playing with my son. You naturally feel better when you switch up your routine and get moving! The much needed natural Vitamin D is also a plus.

Just get to work

Starting a project terribly is better than not starting a project at all! I oftentimes get stuck on how to achieve the several goals I have for myself and also really homing in on what I love, what I’m good at and what I have a passion for. Every successful person says the best way to get to where you want to be is to keep working on things that speak to your soul. By keeping yourself busy in spaces that crank up your creativity and ignite your passions, you will eventually be lead to the place your heart has been longing for. I’m getting closer, I can feel it.

Meditation

Meditating is a must for me and I try to work in a few minutes of quiet time each day. If you are an overthinker like me, taking time to quiet your mind, reconnect with your source usually helps better prepare for the day. I prefer to meditate in the morning but finding the best time to accomplish this with an early rising 2-year-old has been quite a challenge. I tend to have more time and night and this ritual helps me sleep better. Start with short meditations to get acclimated to the meditation practice and then work up to longer meditations.

I’m using these techniques every day/week and they are helping clear my mental clutter and aiding to get me closer down my desired path. It’s important to clear your mind so you can access those recesses of your brain that are often too clogged to help with your creativity connection. I’d like to turn the Purpose Unfilled into a series that shows my progress and hopefully the progress of others who might relate to my struggles. I hope to eventually turn this into the Purpose Fulfilled series where we are actively working on dreams and goals and managing our stressors at the same time.

Please add your tips below that you are using to reveal your gifts, find your passions, and ultimately calm your nerves in the process!