I’ve been working on this blog, working on my social media presence, taking videography technique courses and working on my business goals. Some days I’m completely clear about the direction I am going in and other days I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. The thoughts of my capabilities are always lingering in the forefront of my brain. I’m probably going to spend the rest of my life undoing the negative thinking of my childhood and young adulthood. I know that I will always be in the learning phase and mastery is a bit of an illusion. Yes, we will grow to dominate certain fields with intensive study and constant training but learning never truly ends; thus, mastery seems like a destination to a process that is ever evolving.

The radio show talks to Millennials who are venturing out with their own businesses while maintaining their 9-5 jobs. It made sense for me to add my story and my perspective because its valuable like everyone else’s. Reminding myself that I have value to add to the world is as much of an inside job as it is an external job. By external I mean that the external projects that I work on, from beginning to end, have value even if my projects never see the light of day. I cared enough to put my energy and love into them to bring them to fruition. That has value. I have insights on life and business that are unique. I’m working and I’m building and I’m blessed to know that all of this, the anxiety from my past, the anger from the racial biases, the wins the losses were all part of the plan that keeps propelling me forward. That cocktail of trauma, love, self-doubt, once realized, has made these new ventures so thrilling and I’m proud that I was able to tell my story on District Creative radio Show and I’m so thankful for the opportunity.

For more details visit The District Creatives website below.
https://dcradio.gov/programming/thedistrictcreatives/

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I always found solace being unattached, single, or relationship adjacent (I describe this as a pseudo relationship with some of the activities but zero commitment). Relationships always seemed daunting, cumbersome and something my early 80’s born and later associates have notoriously struggled with. With the information age has come technologies that have all but erased intimacy in personal relationships. We can text a few words to set up a date, dodge someone we aren’t interested in by ghosting them and we can fumble at getting to know people via a text exchange all while being lazy and using shorthand.

We have become conditioned to live on a superficial frequency. Everything we want from images to food (Ubereats anyone?) has become instantaneous and real relationships are anything but quick! The building of a relationship is a journey much like our individual life paths. So many of us have become accustomed to seeing the perfectly filtered lives of individuals and couples whose lives we admire forgetting a picture only shows a fraction of the story.

What I’m learning is when you’re in a relationship with someone you are really in a relationship with yourself.

Lots of the relationships I was in ended up crashing and burning because I expected them too. If we spent more time modifying ourselves there would be more successful relationships. It really does take a person connected with themselves to ‘unsuck’ at relationships. And this concept, along with anything you are good at in life or working on in life is and will always be a personal growth process. This process of engaging with oneself and healthily reflecting on how one can grow and modify will ultimately help every type of interpersonal connections we want to have and sustain. I care about improving and strengthening areas I’m not satisfied with. One of those areas is I’m not happy with the majority of my relationships. This has been a trigger area for me since I was little girl. Part of “unsucking” is getting to the root cause of the sore spot and working towards addressing unhealthy patterns to hopefully have more pleasant outcomes. More to come on the ah ha moments I hope to gain during my self exploration.

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